Shadows Of The Past
by juliette01
Summary: 'My purpose was simple: protect the Livings; fight and kill the Undead. Or at least that was what I always thought. But as they say, the past catches up with us sooner or later. And it does. I learned that the hard way. It's not easy learning the reason I was born was for evil. Ironic, really. Funny how it works. One event and your whole life changes.' AU. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Prologue

_Hey guys, new story. AU with lots of secrets and lies and plot twists when you expect the least... No spoilers, sorry. Wouldn't want to destroy the surprise now, would we?_

 _There will be some references to both Vampires Academy by Richelle Mead and The Blue Bloods Series by Melissa de la Cruz which I fell in love with... I highly recomand you to read those series. I'm grateful to those authors for giving me inspiration._

 _Well, enjoy it._

 _Disclaimer:_ _I own nothing cause if I have had we would have seen many Razaya kisses._

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People fear life. They're afraid to live, to truly live. But they also fear death. Everybody does. For them, death means the end of everything they have ever known, their own end. From the very beginning, we are taught how death comes over us, claiming our souls and how we are sent to Hell or to Heaven, depending on our style of life, on all the sins we've made, on all of our mistakes. And yet... there is something deeper to it than what most of people see. Death is not like that. Not for me anyway. People close to me - family, friends - have met their death, their 'end'. I have met death more than once, I have fought and won against it and I have brought it over many people. I have learned how important life is and how easily it can be taken away - as I nearly did to the person who had so easily won my heart...

But that's not the point. The point is, life is a precious gift, the most important of them all and it can be so easily taken away in one moment... in one swift event that takes place before you can even blink. It all happens so fast, in a heartbeat, everything so quick that you don't even realize what's happening and when you finally do it's too late. And nothing can change that... nothing could ever reverse what happened.

Well, or so it's believed. But for me... things were different. Everything happened fast, indeed, but I eventually sorted it all out - but not without a lot of hard work and headaches - and somehow I managed to undo some things. Not all, even though I so badly wished I could, but some. And it's better than nothing... right? For so long I have feared for others, that I could not do my job, that one day I would helplessly watch everything I cared for being destroyed. And, of course, it happened. We never get away from what we fear, do we?

Sigh. There are so many things everybody fears. Life being the first one of them. But I can not exactly talk, can I? Because all my life I feared living. I was afraid to truly enjoy the moment simply because I was taught that relaxing, letting my guard down even for a little bit was wrong. As part of my training I was taught to always be on my guard, always scrutinizing, always on look-out. But things changed one day... Nothing was the same after an event that changed my whole life, my whole existence. It was the day when I met... the one who changed everything, who changed me and who turned my whole life upside down. From the day when we - I - met him, everything changed, myself included. I became less... inhibited. I allowed myself to let my feelings free more often. And that's how I actually started falling in love with him. And I'm not afraid to admit it. Because those feelings helped me learn my true origins, my inheritance and understand things from my past that I had never been aware of... also helped me discover my powers, my true potential. He was the one who helped me see all those things. While it's true that I had always known that there was something more to me than everybody else thought, I would have never even imagined what the truth was. Maybe I would have still found out about it but in another way, probably through force.

For almost seventeen years, I have been kept in the dark about my inheritance, about who I really was and what I could do. I have been told I was just a dhampir whose sole purpose was to protect the vampires. I had never known my true family. For so long I had been told that my mother died when giving birth to me - which I later learned that was indeed true - but as it turned out she was not a dhampir as everybody kept telling me. She was a vampire, and a really powerful one for that matter. As for my father... I had also been kept in the dark about him. All I had known is that he was a vampire who had seduced my mother and gotten her pregnant with me and then just left. But as it turned out... that was not the truth. Not entirely. He had wanted me. He hadn't left me - us - in purpose. He hadn't left at all, actually. But I did. And it was not my choice. I was taken away from him, hidden among other people like me and raised like a dhampir. Like a protector. My sole purpose in life was clear: protect the vampires from any threat, fight for them, give your life for them. But I was too young to understand what was happening so I had no idea that everything I had been told my whole life was a lie. A big lie. My powers started manifesting at an early age so I had to be held under close surveillance. My vampiric powers were kept under control with a spell. And it was a mere trick: a charmed silver pendant that had supposedly belonged to my mother. And of course, for someone who had never met her mother and who wanted to gain as much knowledge from her family as possible, I simply accepted it.

And it took me seventeen years to learn the damned truth! Seventeen years to learn who I was, what I was capable of!

Everything started off with this weird dreams, visions of what had been and what was yet to happen that started haunted me at night. I tried ignoring them at first but they just kept appearing. And then... weird flashbacks, images of deep, glowing yellow eyes that were staring down at me like I was the most precious thing in the whole world for their possessors. And as it turned out... I was. And then... my powers began manifesting. It was in small leaps at the beginning, like a leak in a pipe. I could feel them. They were right there, waiting for me to reach to them, to access them and when I did... when I finally accepted who I was, what my inheritage and destiny was... I can say that that's the moment when the hell broke loose. Literally.

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 _So, this is the prologue. I guess it's obvious who the main characters is, huh?_

 _I hope you like it. I'll try to update this as often as I can with school and homeworks and all that...  
_

 _Well? Opinions? Advices? Comments and criticisms are welcomed but no flames please. Tell me what you think. Read and review please._


	2. Secrets Part I

_Hey guys. So, first chapter of this story!  
_

 _Well, enjoy it._

 _Disclaimer: I own nothing cause if I have had we would have seen many Razaya kisses._

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 ** _~ Lies and secrets, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind ~_**

Everybody has secrets. It's natural. It's how life works, how the whole world works. We all hide something and have something hidden from us. It's the course of life. And some things should never be revealed, should be kept hidden forever in the deepest pit of the soul. Because if they are ever found out - and trust me, some are always going to revealed sooner or later - then nothing will be the same anymore. Things will change. Everything will get out of control. People will suffer.

Although, keeping secrets is a tricky business. Because the bigger the secret... the worse the aftermath of finding it out. That is a simple lesson I I learned the hard way.

My secret? Huh, that's pretty much my whole life. Or at least until an unexpected event took place... A dhampir - half vampire and half human - learning how to become a guardian and protect the vampires for anything that would be a threat to them. And yeah, I'm aware that as the most powerful creatures on Earth, vampires can hardly be threatened by anything but trust me, things are not what they might seem. While humans are not a potential threat to them - to us - the Undead are. And no, I'm not talking about zombies. The Undead had once been alive, either vampires who had chosen to give up on their lives as mortals for eternal life and drained someone's blood completely or humans or dhampires who had been turned in ones.

As a dhampir, I received the best from both parts: I have both human persistence and vampire skills like super hearing, night vision, fast healing, speed and strength to an extent and while those abilities are not as developed as a vampire's, I have been taught to use them to their best. My purpose is to defeat the Livings and protect them from the Undead, which means risking my own life for theirs, something I have been told for years. But I don't regret it. This is how it's supposed to be.

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Pain shot instantly through me the moment my back met the cold wall. Or, closer to the truth, was slammed powerfully. I held back a groan of pain and blinked fast to clear my slightly blurred vision. I couldn't afford to let my guard down or show any weakness in front of my opponent. It would mean I lost the fight. And that could not happen. I needed to recover, and quick.

I managed to dodge a hit at the last moment and delivered a powerful punch to his stomach, making him take a few steps back from me. I knew it wouldn't do him too much damange anyway but it was still a better choice than letting him take me down.

I quickly analyzed our surrondings, searching for an advantage. I needed to act fast if I wanted to win. _Strike first and strike fast_ , I thought. He composed himself fast enough though and lunged back at me but this time I was prepared. I dodged his fists and kicked him hard across his jaw, making him stumble back a few steps and giving me a few seconds to gain my breath. I needed to end this fast but also act carefully. My impulsivity had always been a problem...

I glanced around me for a brief moment, not long enough to get myself distracted but hopefully long enough to come up with a plan. Unfortunately, that was all he needed, he charged at me with fierce determination and I had to take a step back to avoid his fist and he narrowly missed but still got an advantage, using his other fist to swiftly punch me in the stomach before kicking me back into the wall and knowcking all the air out of my lungs. Damn it! Not again! This would surely leave a mark by tomorrow... I coughed and took a few deep breaths, happily allowing the oxygen to find its way into my lungs.

Ignoring the pain I was receiving from... well, practically every part of my body, I pushed myself away from the wall and managed to dodge yet another blow as I also took out my stake, aiming for his heart. I missed when he pulled back at the last moment but I did manage to drag the pointed tip across his chest and cut a little of his shift, more than surely reaching his skin and putting a small scratch there. Still better than nothing...

Hissing, he took a step back but didn't hesitate too much before attacking me again. I sighed in frustration and prepared myself for what I was about to do. Moving before he had the chance to even react, I jumped back, putting some distance between us before kicking his jaw again. He growled and narrowed his eyes and I quickly shifted my position, using my knee to hit his stomach and sending him backwards a little. With one last swift and powerful kick, I sent him into the same wall he had had me against only moments ago and his body contacted the plain, hard surface with a loud thud. Smirking, I used my left arm to keep him there, tightly clutching his shirt in my fist to retrain his movements while poiting the tip of the stake towards his heart, as if being ready to strike and from the look on his face I could tell I had won - and made him proud.

"Good job." He praised as an annoying, high-pitched sound announced the end of the match. Ugh, it was about the damn time!

I released him, taking a step away from him and crossed my arms over my chest, smirking. It isn't that simple for a student to take him down. "Thank you." I answered quite smugly and tucked my stake back into my jacket. It wasn't exactly a stake, not the one we would use for an attack. It was a training one that we used for learning how to handle a real one and, unlike the real ones, it couldn't even kill a dhampir, let alone an all-powerful, blood-thristy vampire. The most damage it could do was a small cut here and there that would heal within am hour or so without any trace or scar.

He chuckled lightly, giving me a small smile, his brown eyes warm with affection. "You did well. A little too well." He cringed and rubbed his hand over his jaw. "This is going to leave a mark."

I rolled my eyes. "So will all the hits I got from you. That was barely a loving carress from me." Of course, all the possible bruises we had gotten from our sparring were going to healed by tomorrow.

He laugh and shook his head. "If that's a carress then I don't want to know what a real kick feels like."

We both laughed at his statement and I couldn't help but feel a little proud of myself. I made it through. He opened his arms wide and I couldn't resist the temptation. I wrapped my arms around him as his encircled me and I rested my head against his muscular chest, closing my eyes and sighing contently.

"I'm so proud of you, kiddo." He whispered and I smiled.

"Thank you, Hal." I replied and my smile widened when I felt him squeeze me a little in his arms. It felt good knowing that he was always here for me. He had no obligation to but that didn't stop me from being my 'family'. My only family...

We pulled back shortly after and he tucked a few strands of my hair behind one of my ears. I had had to put my hair into a high bun for the fights so no one would grab it and use it in their advantage but after a whole morning spent in one of the academy's gyms fighting, some strands had come free and were framing my face.

Hal was one of our mentors and one of the best fighters despite his relatively young age. He was seven years older than me and that made him an adult while I was... well, I technically still a teenager but despite our age difference there had always been an obvious affection between us, a mute understanding. I had known him since I was little and he had always helped me, taken care of me, been there for me when I needed him the most and all I had always wanted - and done - was to make him proud. He was the family I had never had part of, he was like an older brother to me and I knew he felt the same about me. He was one of the few people who really understood me but never tried to make me talk when it came to what was bothering me and I had always appreciated that about him. That he would never pressure me to talk when I didn't want to.

"What's your next class?" His question ruined the small affectionate moment and I sighed.

"Math." I wrinkled my nose as the word left my lips. It's not that I hated math as over half of the teenagers did but it sucked having to go to class and do math after straining your body and pushing your limits hours on end. And the fact that my back had met the walls and the floor more than I would like to admit didn't help matters. The fighting wasn't that much of a new thing, I had long since grown used to it but today's morning normal classes had been replaced with intense fightings between the juniour year students, to prove our capacity in battle. It was some sort of tradition in the academy that a week's all morning classes were canceled twice an year so the dhampir students would have to fight among themselves and occasionally with teachers to show what they had learned. First time it was at the beginning of November, to prove our strenght and capacity and the second was near the end of the school year to show our improvment and now I had just gone through the first one.

It was more of an exam than anything else and we were going to be given a score for it which would count for our final grade but I wasn't too worried about that. I knew I had handled it pretty well.

"I'm sorry for you." Hal chuckled and clicked his tongue. "How about I get you a day off from the rest of your classes, huh?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you. As much as I appreciate that you would do that for me, I can not accept your offer."

"Why? You've worked hard and earned it."

Sighing, I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jacket, shuffling. "I just can not." It didn't matter how good I was, I couldn't skip classes just because of the work I had put in. It wouldn't be fair for the others.

He shrugged lightly and gently patted my back. "Whatever you want."

I nodded and turned around to leave. Thank God it was over now. As fun as that week had been, I was more than thankful we were done for. Each free moment we had had this week was dedicated to training so we had barely had any time for rest.

I made my way to the door of the gym, intending to head to my room for a quick shower before after noon classes. Some students were still here in small groups, talking to each other about what had just happened. I smiled when I caught sight of my best friend, Ilana, waiting for me at the door. Her red blonde hair was practically glowing in the heavily-lit room and she smiled brightly at me as I reached her.

"Hey." I greeted her and pulled my own hair away from my face. It was starting to become annoying to keep the untamed strands from falling over my eyes.

"You were amazing!" She started and her smile grew wider than I had ever seen, her deep emerald green eyes sparkling with pride.

I shrugged, trying to contain my excitement. "It was not that much of a big deal." I murmured and waved my hand as if dismissing the thought.

She rolled her eyes. "You're seriously not expecting me to believe that, are you, Aya?"

"Maybe." I admitted and laughed. I briefly looked outside and almost cringed. The sky was dark with clouds that prevented a heavy rain. It had been like that for most of the day but I weirdly kind of liked it better that way. I didn't have to deal with a hot sunny day after all that had just happened and I was more than grateful for that.

We got out of the gym and started walking towards the students' dorms. While most classes that included the normal courses we had were held in common, the academy had separated enviroments for vampires and dhampirs for a better... accomodation; each was with their own kind. There was a huge common area for socializing and a huge flight of stairs going up to the two distinct enviroments for students. The north side belonged to the vampires while the south one belonged to the dhampirs.

It was chilly outside and a cold breeze was blowing but I enjoyed it. I was grateful for that. It was pleasant, feeling the cold air hit my overheated skin. Ilana rubbed her arms and shivered a little. She was wearing a black A-neck top beneath a grey cardigan and a dark grey knee-length pencil skirt and if her demeanor wasn't so cheerful, I could have said she represented the weather. She could always pull off any look. She looked amazing, just like she should. But I, on the other side...

I looked down at myself and sighed. I was dressed in knee-lenght black sport pants, a green top and a black and white jacket and my hair was just a mess. I looked like hell - and I was aware of it. Okay, I would lie if I said that I didn't like the way I looked, I couldn't deny that I had a body that most human girls would die for, nor that I had a certainly pretty, feminine face, but I just... I can't exactly explain but I just didn't feel like it at that moment. Yeah, I know, teenage girl insecurities but... it wasn't just that. I suddenly felt like I didn't belong there entirely. That I deserved more, that I was more than this. Yeah, I know. Too much babbling.

We arrived in the common area and I was a little startled to see almost every other student already here. They were happily chatting but stopped the moment their eyes set upon us and I could feel their intense gazes boring into us. Had I done anything wrong? Before I could even open my mouth to ask what was going on, they started clapping and I could feel my cheeks reddening as both me and Ilana came to a halt. I smiled at them and waited for them to finish before nodding my thanks and quickly resuming my way to the stairs

"I'm going to grab my books and then we go to lunch, okay?" Ilana asked as we walked up the stairs.

I nodded. "Sure. Just give me some time to get cleaned up and we can go." I answered and she nodded her response and once we reached the next floor we parted ways. I quickly made my way to my room, shutting the door and leaning my back against it once I was inside. I sighed and let myself slide against the door until I was sitting on the floor and took a brief look to the electronic watch from my nightstand. I had around one hour until the after noon classes started meaning that I would have enough time to take a shower and have lunch and both of them sounded great at that moment. I just needed a moment for myself. I stood up and took my jacket off me, throwing in on the bed as I walked towards the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it and made my way to the basin. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled slightly but it didn't quite reach my eyes. I wasn't sure why but I wasn't entirely happy. Something felt weird. I had an odd feeling and I could feel goosebumps rising on my skin but I couldn't quite pinpoint the reason why. I was safe... I was well aware that I was completely safe and nothing could harm me in there. Oa Academy was one of the safest places on Earth, it was protected not only by Guardians but also by charms that wouldn't allow anyone who represented a threat to get inside. It had been my home for as long as I knew, I had always felt more than safe in here. And yet... I couldn't shake off that feeling.

My usually electrical blue eyes were almost dull, tired. Just as I was feeling right then. I let my hair come free and it immediately fell in waves over my shoulders and back, its dark color contrasting with my green tank top. I shook my head a little to let it frame my face. My hair was a long mess of untamed curls as a result of me barely giving it any thought over the last few days but it didn't bother me all that much. Not entirely. I guess I had just grown used to it.

It felt weird, admiring myself in the mirror like that but I just couldn't help it. It felt like ages since I had last had time for this.

I looked down and could feel a small smile take hold of my lips as I caught sight of the moon-shaped necklace I had been wearing. It had been my mother's and it was the last thing I had left from her. I had never met her, all I know is that she had died soon after giving birth to me so that necklace was my only connection to my family. Nothing else. I hadn't met my father either, I actually had no idea who he was, all I knew is that he was a powerful vampire while my mother was a Guardian, a dhampir. Guardian Sayd, the one who had practically raised me, had explained me why; because of their... obvious differences it hadn't been a long-lasting relationship despite their love for each other so they had had to part ways but little did he know that she was carrying his child. That she was carrying me... I had blamed him for a while for not fighting harder for her. What kind of man abandons the woman he loves? Leaves her and never tries to contact her? What kind of father doesn't even try to contact his daughter? How could he have lived with himself after all that? All those questions had bugged me for years... but one day I had just stopped. Blaming wouldn't take me anywhere. It wouldn't bring her back nor would it make him magically appear at the Academy.

Sighing, I took off the necklace and placed in on the counter. I had almost never taken it off but now it was one of those rare moments when I just wanted to be myself... with no strings to my past. I rested my hands on the counter, palms flattened against the cold surface and looked in the mirror again. I bit my lower lip as a strange sensation of dizziness spread through my body and everything around me seemed to be spinning at a great speed, blurring the outside world but I couldn't care less. What I did care was the strange tingling I had in my whole body. It felt weird but in a pleasant way and I couldn't understand why. I just kept looking in the mirror with a strange fascination as if the answer might be in there if I just looked with enough intensity. I couldn't focus on anything else but my own reflection, everything else seemed out of place, unimportant. And then... it happened. It only lasted a couple of moments but I knew I had seen it clearly. My irises had turned from their natural blue to a pleasant yellow, honey-like hue but only for a brief second before the color changed again back to blue. My breath hitched in my throat and I took a step away from the mirror as if there was an evil creature lurking inside of it, ready to pounce at me. I blinked fast and tried to calm my racing heart. It had been just my imagination, I tried to tell to myself. I'm just tired and I need to sleep.

But... I just couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right. What had happened wasn't normal. People don't just change their eye color. Not like that. I looked down at my shaking hands before lifting my gaze back to the mirror and I was able to see just how frightened I really was. I shouldn't have been scared... It was my job not to be. And yet I was. A small, barely auditible voice in the back of my mind was telling me that that was only the beginning, that there were more things coming and I just tried to ignore it. But the more I tried the louder it become, getting to the point where it overgrew my rational voice. It was kind of terrifying having no real control over my own mind. It was as if someone was in my head, screwing with me and turning all my rational thoughts into a messy buzz.

And yet, there was one thought that persisted. I don't know where it had come from but it terrified me, mostly because I didn't understand why I would ever think anything like that. 'Everything will change.'

I held my head in my hands and took in a few deep breaths, trying to compose myself and calm down. I needed to be calm, I kept repeating myself and trying to believe it but I would just return to that almost unsettling thought. It was like a chant and I couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard I tried.

 **"Soon..."** A new voice whispered in my head and my eyes widened in terror. It had been raspy, a little hoarse but somehow alluring, like it was trying to draw me to it. I looked around myself but there was nobody else there. And I knew there couldn't be. I was in my private bathroom, for God's sake!

And yet... I somehow felt as if I wasn't completely alone. Like there was another presence with me even though I was alone. But oddly enough, it felt weirdly calming, soothing. Familiar.

 **"Soon..."** I heard the raspy voice again before all the weird sensations I had been feeling suddenly just washed away, leaving me more confused than I had ever been before.

* * *

 _And this is it. At first I wasn't too sure about the ending but then I went 'screw it' and decided to go for it anyway._

 _I hope you liked it.  
_

 _Well? Opinions? Advices? Comments and criticisms are welcomed but no flames please. Tell me what you think. Read and review please._


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